An Open Letter To Isabella Runion As She Begins College

     This is the letter I have been dreading to write for more than 18 years. Today, your dad and I truly become empty nesters.  "It will be great," they say. "Welcome to freedom," they say. "It's your time," they say. You would think I would be more excited for this next phase in our lives. Honestly, I have loved having my family close, and this one...this one is a hard, bitter pill for this momma of three to swallow.  I have already practiced for this experience twice with your sisters. But this time, the chicks really are all out of the nest.!

     With all that being said, I really am thrilled that you chose to land at WVU for your college experience. You know how I feel about being in Morgantown and being a Mountaineer. It has been one of the greatest joys of my life to share my WVU experiences with  you and your sisters over the years. I can still remember the excitement of taking each of you to your first games at Mountaineer Field! My years at WVU were some of the best times of my life, and the people I met there shaped my life in innumerable ways. No experience has guided my life more than the years I spent at WVU. I hope your experience will be the same. (I mean, if you don't cry, every time, you hear the Pride of West Virginia play, I have failed you as a parent!) 

 

     One of my strongest wishes for you is that you get the absolute most you can out of your time at WVU. I will give you much of the same advice that I gave your sisters when they started their college journeys. First of all, make sure that you "lean in" to this experience. Be an active player in your own education. GO TO CLASS! Get to know your professors. They all have office hours, so don't be afraid to go and introduce yourself. You never know when one of these professors can turn into a mentor. Don't miss out on the chance to form these kind of meaningful relationships. Also, make use of the departmental learning centers. I would often do my Math homework at the Math Learning Center or during tutoring hours. That way, if I had any questions, or got stuck on a problem, someone was there to help. It was much more efficient than spending an hour pulling my hair out trying to solve a problem on my own. Collaboration can be key! I also found it helpful to develop a routine when it was time to study. During undergrad, I spent many hours at Wise library, up in the stacks, reading and studying. (I quickly learned that I should bring an extra light bulb, as many of the desk lights didn't work!) I know now that you can reserve study rooms. This would be a great way to spend some time with your friends, and get some work done! Put it on your calendar, and make it part of your "class schedule." 

     Get involved in campus in as many ways as you can. Participate at University sponsored events like, Welcome Week, WVU Up All Night, movie nights and Mountaineer Week. Consider study abroad, if that appeals to you. Take advantage of all the clubs and organizations that are of interest to you.( I love  that you are trying out for the Hip Hop Team!) If you have a passion for something, and there is no campus organization for it, start one! Marra did that with A Moment of Magic. She would be happy to help you navigate the process. (Don't be afraid to reach out to Marra for anything WVU related. She's a WVU expert...and she loves you!)

     Go to as many WVU sports events as you can. I rarely missed a home football or basketball game. I loved the atmosphere!  GO SEE IT ALL!! Soccer, baseball,gymnastics, diving, volleyball...check out some of the Club teams too! Heck, play intramural soccer if you want. I know you still have the eye of the tiger! Ha! 

 

     Be the best you that you can be. That means that you have to take care of yourself. Drink lots of water and don't skip too many meals. Try to get enough sleep. (Naps were definitely a part of my daily schedule!) Pray everyday and go to Mass when you can. Remember to let your light shine! Never feel like you should downplay or hide you talents and accomplishments. Surround yourself with people who want to lift you up and who you want to lift up as well. Recognize that if you give something your best effort, and it doesn't work out the way you would like it to, it was still worth your energy and time.

      Have a great time at WVU and in Morgantown! This is the time of your life! You can party like a rock star (if you want to) and still get the job done in the classroom. It's all about time management and good decision making. Sometimes, that means having to say no. Listen to that little voice inside your head, it's rarely wrong. All work and no play makes for a pretty dull life, but the work still has to get done! With that being said, enjoy being social. Expand your circle. You already have an amazing and supportive friend group in Morgantown (including one of your big sisters). Get to know some people in your dorm, your classes, your major and in dance. Engage and make some connections.

     Back to good decision making. I never felt unsafe at WVU, still you have to be aware of your surroundings. Don't walk around late at night alone. Never leave your cup unattended or accept a drink from someone you don't know, and, for the love of God, never drink and drive, or get into the car with a driver who has been drinking. Uber and Lyft are readily available in Morgantown. I will never complain about an Uber charge to my Paypal. You don't even need to ask. Just book the ride.

     WVU has so much to offer. Get as much out of your experience as you can. Seek out and get that selfie with President Gee! It has become a rite of passage. He is incredibly approachable and easy to find. You can see him at almost every WVU event. He wants to meet you, he has time for you and he wants to be tagged in that photo!

     Your Dad and I could not be more proud of you and the person you have become. We are so excited for you to get all out of college that we did. Go out and do great things, but don't forget to FaceTime your ole' Mom and Dad every now and again!

I could not love you more,

Mom

An Open Letter to Lilly Rebecca Runion as she leaves for College

 

     Well, it looks like it' s time for our Birdie Bird to leave the nest.  There are so many things I feel I need to say.  There are so many little pieces of wisdom that I need to share.  It is hard to know where to begin...(or when to stop, for that matter!)
     Let me start by saying, "GIRL! YOU'VE GOT THIS!"  I know that you are full of "Freshman jitters" right now, but you have been prepping yourself for this journey your whole life.  You have such a strong sense of self and goodness.  Sure, your self esteem can take a hit every now and again, but that is the same for everyone.  It's true, you DO sweat the small stuff, but that's part of what makes you...YOU!  You actually give a damn about things! I think that is what gives such fire to your personality.  Your sense of what is right and what is wrong is so strongly defined.  With that being said, you have the most kind and forgiving disposition of anyone I know.  It completely reminds me of my mom.  You are a giver.  You would give or do anything to help a friend...or a stranger for that matter.
     I am so excited that you have chosen WVU and Morgantown to be your home for the next few years.  WVU is a special place.  It will completely wrap it's arms around you, if you let it.
     Know this, YOU BELONG!  Try to put your fears about the future behind you.  Bottom line, YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK.  Keep an open mind (...it's not a stretch for you!)  Keep your options open as well. You do realize that you have options...right?  Dad and I just want you and your sisters to find something you love, and something that fills your soul.
     Do your mom a favor and really "lean in" to your college experience.  There are so many unbelievable clubs and organizations at WVU.  If you think there is an interest that is not covered, start a club yourself!
     LEAD!!! You were born to lead. People are drawn to you! Share your passion with others.
     BE FAMOUS...NOT INFAMOUS!  Let your light shine! Put your insecurities aside.  I'm telling you. Birdie, whatever "IT" is...you've got "IT!"  Whether it is on stage or in every day life, you make people "feel" something.  It's everything about you.  The way you talk, the way you move...that smile with the twinkle in your eyes...it draws people in.

     Stay spiritual.  I know this is a complicated part of your life.  Go to mass.  Go to church with a friend.  Pray, pray, pray...everyday.  Talk to God.  He is listening.  Follow Pope Francis and the Dali Lama on Twitter. They are both a loving light in a sometimes dark world.  Take care of your mind body and soul.
     Enough of the deep stuff already...right?! Get in there and kick this college things ass!  A few last pieces of advice:

1. Manage your time
2. Get to know your professors
3. Get some sleep
4. Use the Learning Center Tutors
5. Consider study abroad
6. Visit the Caruth Center when you feel you need to
7. Seek out President Gee for a selfie...often!
8. Embrace change
9. Don't forget about Izzy
10. Call your mom, on occasion
11. Relax 

     I feel bittersweet about you leaving.  I keep telling people that I feel like you "need me more" than your sisters do.  Truth is, I need you.  I have leaned on you so heavily over the last year

.  You have been a great support, a wonderful diversion, an amazing confidant, and, let's be honest, nobody makes me laugh more than you do!

     Your Dad and I could not be more proud of you! I can't wait to see what you are going to do next!

Love You, 

Love You,

Love You,

Mom

P.S. Let's Go Mountaineers!

   

On Being a Mom

              Wonder of wonders, over the last few days, I have spent a lot of time thinking on being a mom.  Becoming a mother is, I think, the singular defining moment in the life of a mother. It is the moment when EVERYTHING changes...the universe shifts...the boundaries change...the ability to love expands exponentially.  It is a true gift. It's like getting all the good things, all at once. It is maddening. It is rewarding.  It is terrifying.  It is soul cultivating.  It is heartbreaking.  It lifts you so high, that you never return both feet to the Earth.
    Truth be told, not every mom is a great at being a mom.  Still, I am hard pressed to think of an instance where a mother has not, at least, tried to love her child in the best way she knows how.  Relationships between a mother and child can be complicated and complex.  Thank heavens, I never felt that way about my relationship with my mom or my children.
     My mom made it look easy.  It came naturally to her. She was a nurturer by nature... a friend to all...a mother to three...like a mother to many.  She had a clear and simple vision of what it meant to be a good mother. She raised three children to know in their hearts what was the right thing to do. She stressed family and faith.  She lived by example, always putting others before herself. The highest complements I have ever received are when I have been told that I remind someone of my mother.  This means I must be warm, kind, thoughtful, funny, compassionate, patient, unselfish, inclusive, moral and loving.
   I can only hope that my children feel the same way about me. I think I'm on the right track. At any rate...it's a work in progress.

JHS Media Guide Dedication for Toots and Tommy

     I felt like I should share this for those of you who have not seen it. The boys, grand kids, extended family and I, threw out the first pitch at a Jefferson High School Baseball game a few weeks ago. It was a great honor for our entire family.  It was in celebration of the team's media guide being dedicated to Mom and Daddy this year. Here is the dedication I composed.

     Baseball. It was one of many common threads of the shared life experience of Tommy and Tootsie Mercer.  Born March 18^th, 1948 in Charleston, the fourth of five children, Tootsie moved with her family to Philippi , WV at an early age.  A tomboy from the start, “Toots” found a home playing Little League in Barbour County reaching the level of All-Star.  No small feat, considering that girls were not generally welcome to play.  Tootsie’s short blonde hair made it easy to disguise her from opposing teams.

     Tommy, born June 25^th, 1948 was a lifelong resident of Jefferson County.  Tommy and his older brother Bill played in the Charles Town League as youths, Bill for the Yankees and Tommy for the Giants. They spent their spring and summers playing teams from exotic locations like Millville, Summit Point, Harpers Ferry, Berryville and Winchester.  Tommy continued his baseball career as an outfielder playing for the Panthers of Charles Town High School.  Upon graduation in 1967, he hung up his baseball cleats for the football gridiron.  At Fairmont State Tommy played college football for four years, including playing on Fairmont’s National Championship team in 1967.

     After meeting at Fairmont State and a short courtship, Tommy and Toostie were married in May of 1971.  Moving back to Charles Town, the ball field soon became a second home for the Mercers as Tommy started playing fast pitch softball for many years as he and Toots began raising their family.

     Baseball once again became an important part of the Mercer’s lives when their oldest child, Heather (Runion), went to play Little League for the Charles Town/Ranson Twins.  Tom Jr. was next, starting his baseball career with the Angels of the Jefferson County Little League, followed 5 years later by the youngest Mercer, BJ, who played with the JCLL Yankees.  Tootsie and Tommy became staples at the local ball fields for many years.  They spent countless hours at the fields and on the roads, taking their family all over the tri-state area for league games and all-star tournaments.  Tommy, especially, was a particularly “vocal” supporter of his sons and their teammates…just ask any umpire or opposing coach.  Eventually, he found himself most comfortable watching games from far down the right or left field line, depending on which dugout his team was assigned. This continued into the boys High School careers at Jefferson.  He could be found there game after game, while Tootsie preferred the more social aspects of being in the stands where her effervescent personality endeared her to the friends and families involved with Jefferson Baseball through the 1990’s. 

     State Championships came home with Jefferson Baseball and the Mercer boys four times. In 1992 and 1993 with Tom Jr. and in 1998 and 1999 with BJ.  Tootsie and Tommy did not miss a minute.  Tommy could often be found mowing grass and helping maintain the fields, while Tootsie kept busy helping plan tournament trips and coordinating social events for the players and their families.  Toots and Tommy made some of their most treasured friendships with the baseball families that they spent so much time with at JHS.  The strong bonds they forged were evidenced by the support their entire family received when Tootsie passed away in August 2017, followed unexpectedly a few weeks later by Tommy.  Countless players and their families visited the “Mercer Compound”, the hospital and the funeral home, providing much comfort to the Mercer children and grandchildren. 

    The Yankees legendary Yogi Berra said, “Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too.”  Certainly, Tootsie and Tommy had a lot of both in their lives…love and baseball.

     My daughter Lilly has allowed me to share this paper that she has written for her English 101 class. It is powerful and heartbreaking. I admire her honesty and humility. I hope that writing this down will help her in her healing and grieving process.

Lilly Runion

Sadie Shorr-Parks

English 101

September 27, 2017

 In Sickness and In Health

            I spent the last two years of my life watching my grandmother, whom I once viewed as unbelievably strong and independent, become absolutely helpless. After she began noticing an inability to say certain words and communicate articulately, she was diagnosed with primary progressive aphasia. In the Spring of 2015, my family was faced with the reality that there was no cure to this unforgiving sickness, and her symptoms were worsening rapidly. This rare disease caused my once exuberant grandmother, who I called Baba, to completely lose her ability to enjoy life the way she once had. She was the most popular person I knew, and her captivating personality unfailingly lured people towards her. I could not tell you how many times I attempted to make a quick run to the grocery store with her that ended up lasting hours because of all the people she would stop and talk to. I was used to it though, because her and my grandfather were like second parents to me. They lived right at the top of my driveway, and due to my parent’s burdensome work schedule, I was often picked up from school, taken to dance, fed, and helped with my homework by my grandparents. Baba even went on every family vacation we took, and because my granddad hated the beach, he would always stay home and take care of our dogs for us. When I was not on vacation during the summer, I was up at Baba and Granddaddy’s house baking, playing Barbie’s, running around outside, or even just lying on the couch with them watching the Hallmark channel.

When Baba became ill, I realized that it would be impossible for me to do things with her that I once had. It started as just an inability to speak efficiently, but over time the disease began to deteriorate most of her basic motor skills. Her left leg was not receiving signals from her brain effectively, so she was unable to take the longs walks that she had once always taken. She was also no longer able to write in her journals because she lost the ability to write. These things that she lost were what made her who she was prior to her disease taking over. There was nothing that upset her more, however, than losing her ability to speak. Trips to the grocery store no longer took hours, because she was unable to have those long conversations with everyone she knew. My grandmother, who was once such a socialite, could no longer even say the word “hello.” Over time, she frequently became too embarrassed to even go outside of her home, so she began to isolate herself. She was always such a vibrant force before, and she did not want people to see her in this despaired state. This was the natural, human reaction, considering that everything she was once passionate about was taken away from her. Baba’s favorite place to be was the beach, and she planned to travel the world now that she was retired. These experiences were taken away from her though, because of an unprovoked illness. Luckily, my family is extremely close, so she was never alone, but it was still not the quality of life that someone like her deserved.

I actively regret the decisions I made during this heartbreaking time in her life. She was persistently trying to stay positive, but I was weak, and I struggled to be there for her. Seeing someone who I once viewed as indestructible become feeble so quickly was too hard for me to accept, and I ran from the situation because, at the time, it felt like the easier choice. Since she lived right up the road from me, I could have easily spent my evenings with her, doing my homework and watching television. Instead, I was a coward, and hesitated to spend time with her because I did not want to see and accept her as she was. I wanted her to be herself, and although she persistently wore a smile on her face through everything, I could tell she was sad, and she was not the spirited woman she once was. I did not consider that despite all the pain that I was feeling, she likely felt more desolate than I could have even imagined. I should have put aside my distress and been there with her, to keep her company and let her know that I was there for her. To this day, I feel uneasy when I look back at all the opportunities to spend time with Baba that I wasted. She was a second mother to me, and I was cowering away when she needed me the most.

My beautiful Baba passed away peacefully at home on August 16, 2017. It was such a beautiful day; the sun was out and the air was warm with a light breeze. Walking outside to the sound of birds and wind in the trees, I could not believe such a devastating thing had just occurred. My family was completely heartbroken, but we knew she did not want to live in that miserable state anymore. Towards the end, she could no longer even swallow, and to physically move any part of her body without assistance was nearly impossible. Baba would not have wanted that dismal life, so I know she let go for a good reason. She was tired of fighting, but selfishly I sometimes wish she would have held on a little longer, because I was not ready to be without her. My entire family was in despair, but there was one person that I felt especially sorry for; my grandfather. He had spent the last fifty years with Baba, had lost his lifelong partner. The woman whom he asked to marry after only three months of dating, raised his three children with, and spent every waking moment of the past two years taking care of, was now gone. He was truly beside himself after losing her, yet comforted by the fact that she passed peacefully and painlessly. While trying to process her passing, I became so overwhelmed with the realization that my grandfather had done so much for her during her illness. Taking a step back from the situation, I could see the heroic sacrifices that he made. Instead of going out to baseball and football games with his friends, Granddaddy was home beside her. Fixing her meals, getting her dressed, taking her to the restroom, and making sure she was always comfortable was all he did for two years. The amount of heartache he experienced from watching her suffer was never seen by the people around him, and I admire him greatly for that.

I did not realize how much Granddaddy had actually sacrificed until about two weeks after Baba’s death. He had recently revealed that he was feeling a lot of discomfort all throughout his body, so he went for a checkup with his doctor. After some irregular test results came back, he was admitted into the hospital, and it was revealed that he had stage four pancreatic cancer, one of the deadliest forms of this gruesome disease. There were tumors everywhere, and he had obviously been quietly suffering for a long time. My family was shocked. Our patriarch, who was supposed to be mourning the loss of his wife, was now fighting for his own life. It did not take long for us to come to the realization that Granddaddy had not spoken up about his agony for a reason. He completely dedicated his life to taking care of her up until her death, despite being in what had to be unbearable pain. He had a job to do, and once she had peacefully passed, he was ready to deal with his own illness. I had never seen a more heroic act, and I knew it was now more important than ever for me to be there for him.

Every day for two weeks, I went straight from school to the hospital to be with my grandfather. I did my homework and watched television every night with him there, something I regretted not doing with Baba. I usually hate hospitals, but being there with him made it easy to forget I was inside of one. He was in a large room on the oncology floor. The bland colored space had many comfortable chairs, so my family could all be there together with him. There were also two large windows looking towards the mountains. Just like with her, it was horrifying having to sit there with someone you love knowing they are in unbearable discomfort. However, I believed that I had to be there for him, because he was so courageous to stay beside Baba during her fight. He deserved the same care and loyalty that he showed her. Also, because of my remorse for not being there for Baba as often as I should have, it was very important to me that I was there for him. It almost felt like I was trying to make up for the time I had not spent with her. There was no greater role model than him in this particular situation. I had to then take inspiration from him, and put my reservations about seeing a loved one suffer aside. Today, despite my irreversible regret about not helping with Baba as much as I could have, it brings me some comfort when I consider the time I spent with my grandfather before his passing on September 7th.

Through all of this heartache, all my family and I can really do is move forward. We have suffered so much loss, so confusingly close together, but we now have the inspirational story of how powerful my grandfather’s love for my grandmother really was. He took his vow to be there for her in sickness and in health very seriously. Not only did he vehemently care for Baba through her sickness, but he fought his own ailment off for her as well. No matter what happens, no one will be able to take the pride I feel in him away from me. Granddaddy has genuinely inspired me to see this tragedy in a different way. Instead of being angry and thinking that he was not repaid for the love and care he showed Baba for years, I have to accept that he simply could not be without her. The amount of times he told me that he missed her during his time in the hospital was proof enough for me that life was not worth living, for Granddaddy, if she was not there too. I learned from him the value of sacrifice. When he passed, we were able to say that he was a hero for all the time he spent tending to her needs. I can only imagine the amount of comfort it brought him to know he did everything that he could for her. He taught me that pushing through the discomfort of watching a family member suffer is worth it, because the remorse you feel otherwise will be even more painful than watching them in pain. It may seem scarring at the time, but in all actuality, you are preparing yourself for the day that you can step back and say, “I did everything I possibly could to be there for them.” I will carry the lessons this experience has taught me on forever, and will undyingly stand by the existence of eternal love. The example my grandparents have set is pretty remarkable, and I am comforted by the fact that they have taught my entire family to love in a way that will get us through any challenge.

A Eulogy for My Daddy, Tommy Mercer

     A Eulogy for My Daddy, Tommy Mercer

     It is impossible to put into words what it feels like to lose both of your parents within 3 weeks of one another. My family and I are struggling to get from day to day and process all that has happened.  Many people have asked me to share the memorial that I gave at Daddy's funeral. Here it is.

What a dear, dear man…What a sweet, loving gentle man. What a strong, tender and unselfish man.

Ernest Hemingway said “Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguishes one man from another."

If Hemingway was correct, then what a distinguished man he was!

A son who adored his parents…A son who made his parents proud.

A brother…A brother who could be counted upon.  A brother’s whose loyalty was never in question.

A husband…A husband who lived by his wedding vows without question or regret.

A father…A father who loved his children to the core of his being.

A Grandfather…A grandfather who marveled at the remarkableness and beauty of his grandchildren.

In Dad’s obituary, it said that he was a man among men. This was so very true.  He was a father figure to not only his children, but to many others as well. His peers looked to his example and, many, many  times over the years, sought him out for advice and counsel. I am sure that there are several men in this room who, over the years, have sought out Daddy’s direction.  He was universally respected. He was a man of his word. He knew the value of hard work and the value of a dollar. While he had little use for material goods, he loved the feeling of a job well done. Anyone who knew my Dad, knows how he loved to ride that mower, and when he was done, he could stand back and survey all that he had done, and know that he had accomplished something that day. 

So many of you have come to me, even before Daddy knew he was ill, to tell me that he was their hero.  The incredible, loving care that gave Mom through her illness was nothing short of heroic.  She was never a burden to Daddy, even as her condition continued to deteriorate day by day.  I often wondered if he would survive it. Now I know that caring for mom was what was keeping him alive. The most difficult day of his life was not the day he got his diagnosis, but the day he realized that he could no longer care for mom on his own and had to reach out for help. We stood in the hallway in the ER at Berkeley Medical Center and cried together. He was afraid that he was letting mom down, and that she would think he was giving up on her. I told him that we would all come up with a plan.  He was determined to take care of her at home for as long as he could. Thank God for Dr. Funk, and her suggestion that we look into hospice care. Our family could not be more grateful to Hospice of the Panhandle for guiding us and showing us that we could care for mom in the way that Daddy wanted.  The cancer that was infiltrating his body was no match for the love and devotion that Daddy had for mom and her care. He beat back the Devil until he could lay her to rest, knowing that he had loved her the best way he knew how. 

His most proud accomplishment was his family. It is hard to put into words exactly what it means to be a “Mercer.”  I think my cousin Amy captured it perfectly in a message she sent me after Daddy’s death.  It read in part, “…I must tell you that your whole family is an exceptional picture of a true family.  No family is perfect, we know. But the Mercers have always loved purely and without hesitation. Your parents support of their children somehow fostered such a closeness that you all still live within shouting distance. And that love that you were shown you have paid forward to your own family and the people surrounding you. You can see it in Landon spending so much time with your parents, Tom Jr. enveloping everyone in a bear hug, your childhood friends that are still a part of the family that you have created. That’s how they live forever…by being this example where people like me say “my aunt and her family…they are amazing..let me tell you how…”

Thank you , Amy. 

This family has been completely and utterly overwhelmed by the support we have received from our relatives, friends and this extended community.  Thank you for wrapping your loving arms around us and showing us such genuine care and compassion.  What a gift! So many of you have asked how we are doing. How are we getting through this? We are struggling. It’s true. Our hearts are truly broken.  We want to know why? There really isn’t a good answer. But, I will say to you  Tom Tom, BJ, Timmy, Lisa, Bobbie, Sophia, Taylor, Lilly, Isabella, Olivia , Landon, Tre, Uncle Bill, Ray…THIS I KNOW…we will LOVE each other through this…because that is what WE do. That is the example we have been given. WE LOVE.

I would ask you all to try in your lives to live by the example that my parents have set for us all.  Be as kind to others as you possibly can. This is the way that mom lived every day of her life. I will ask you, over the coming months, to perform some small random act of kindness in her memory.  Pay for the car’s behind you meal at the drive thru.  In an airport tell a soldier that you are grateful for his service and buy him breakfast , lunch or dinner.  Give a kind word to a stranger on the street. Pray for those who are in despair.  I watched mom do all of  these things many times.

Daddy was the first man I ever loved. I have been so blessed to have so many strong and loving men in my life. My brothers, my uncles and my adoring husband. Timmy said to me the other day, that he knew what his goal in life was. He said his goal in life was that one day people would say that he loved me as much as Tommy loved Tootsie. I will challenge you all to strive for the same goal. Love one another like Tommy loved Tootsie. Whatever it is, love each other through it. Be kind and good like Toots, and be a hero in your own life just like Big Tom.